Kitchen update 2   

A number of sad or misguided souls have asked for an update on the kitchen – some of you need to get a life, anyhow… 

Well, I was intending to wait until it was complete but as you are aware ( and Shirley to be fair is slowly catching on ) that like all ‘projects’ of this type it will never be truly ‘complete’.

There is always the bit of edging to go on or trim to finish, floor to lay, wall to plaster, whatever. Anyhow I have moved on to building boats again, so as far as ‘final completion’ is concerned, it is out of the window ( if we had one that is ). 

First a moment of lament for the old kitchen – as the pictures showed it was a shame to have her disposed of as she was in prime condition, barely worn and just bursting with enthusiasm for years more of useful life, but there we are as Shirley insisted, progress is progress. 

Sadly, I have to admit to being a bit surprised at the lack of offers received for the old kitchen units, after EBAY had me de-listed and my ad removed citing ‘gross violation of EBAY’s listing ethic’ (whatever that means) I slowly realized that re-homing these fine units was going to be at best, problematic. 

Anyhow I still had hope that a new ‘home’ could be found. Meanwhile I have my own theory as to who reported me to the EBAY censor – has to be that Blind Date (Phil W) – retribution for an ugly incident involving a sea urchin at depth (Sue Vidamour has your name and I understand a protest march is in the early planning stages mate..). 

As modified, the nomadic sink unit held up for a while but it would seem even an industrial dose of number 8 woodscrews and lashings of hot glue have limitations when faced with the concerted attack by irate ( and potentially homeless ), woody’s. 

Harry the cat

Close to a week or so after the first set of pictures were taken Harry the cat brushed by just a little too close to the nomadic unit and the door fell off. At that point we realized that it’s days were numbered and decided to do the decent thing and have it put down. 

‘Harry the cat’ was not amused at all, she howled all the way to the vet. The vet ( Belgian ), refused to do the deed as in his opinion other than a couple of small minor issues there were no outstanding defects at all with Harry the cat. 

We returned home with Harry (still howling – no gratitude) and a very small worm tablet, total of £10.56 the poorer; the tablet had absolutely no effect on the sink or its assorted inhabitants. 


The incontinence that we first noticed scarcely a month earlier continued, (sink, not cat, to be honest we don’t seem to see the cat very often at present ). 

Most mornings we awoke to a small ‘accident’. So, finally,  sadly, the sink had to go to the rest home of last resort – the tip – bloney cheek of it - they charged me £21.37 disposal  – maybe we should have asked the vet ( Belgian ) if he wanted it ? 

Given the appetite of the woody’s that it housed we felt that the States Of Guernsey should have paid me and nurtured the little darlings as a significant contribution to a future Guernsey waste management scheme. 

So there we were without a kitchen sink for over a month and a half, Shirley soldiered on washing dishes in the bath. 

As usual I did my best to help right up until a ban was instituted after being found washing coffee mugs in the toilet - second offence, ( built in rinse mechanism – just pull the little lever – all seemed logical to me – women, often seems to be the little things that upset them the most ) .

Final thought – isn’t the EBAY Europe HQ in Belgum and Phil, your mother, she ever been to Belgum at all..? – even a short day trip - could explain a lot....

With special thanks to :-

Phil W - Out of hours plumbing supplies and general building advice

Stuart T - For threatening to cut off my supply after viewing the dodgey electrics

Len - For all of the help

Gary Le C - For always making me laugh

Alan B - For moving the pot plants

Keith D - always sensible advice